siiarrei's Journal

12:57pm: Seattle
There are two very cool things about Seattle, 1, one of my three best friends lives there part-time and will be going to college there, and 2, my brother just got a job for microsoft and will be moving to Seattle this summer. I'm ungodly happy for my brother. I love him dearly and think that this job should be a great opportunity for him. He'll meet new people, have his own house, have at least a states distance between him and his parents, and all that good stuff. I really hope things go well for him there and am exceedingly happy about it.

I also look forward to going to see Sava up north, which is actually down south west from where I currently am, but that's not really the point now is it? I have no idea what were going to be doing but I haven't seen her for years, and it's starting to get ridiculous.

Missing all my friend in Cali and anxiously awaiting this summer.

12:20pm: Made this today, thought it was cute. Now I have my very own pet penguin ^_^ I love penguins.





Ain't she just adorable? She sort of reminds me of Dusty...

8:08pm: Goals and Expectations
I've just been having a long and thoughtful debate on my friend's live journal post, and she made some really great points. I've decided that lj is a better place to ponder then to rant, for however nice it is to rant, its no fun to read rants. The beauty of posts that delve into the deeper meaning of things is that, in a semi-twisted way your relationship with the person seems to get stronger, as though just by reading that someone else voiced something you often wonder about, that your not alone. I'm starting to think that that might be a common fear. Beacuse everyone sets expectations for themselves. Whether or not the expectation was to rise above everyone else's, to be noticed, to become a famous painter, to each is to itsown. But one thing, that I'm starting to think about, is that everyone at some point starts to wonder, with that goal, will they still be friends with the crowd they wanted?

But then again, if you've played your cards right, you should have at lest a small handful of friends that will be withyou even if you end up in such different places that you might as well be in a different reality. And hey, I know that my family will always be there for me, and that I've got a few friends I know I can count on, so I dont even know why I'm worrying about this, because I dont have a thing to worry about. Oh well, I guess I just felt like babbling, this was supposed to be insiteful, but Im not really sure the affect went as planned.

8:00pm: 1. Reply with your favourite sound effect, pudding or small animal and I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.

Hehe, my brother was doing this and it looked like fun, so here goes.

11:36pm: Memories
You know, all of my previous posts have been short rants about how annoying my life is. But now I feel it is neccisary to implore the mysteries of my brain, or whatever. I just got really inspired to actually bother with thinking about life, from my friend, after reading her post. And though I've realized this before, its always amazing just how hard it hits me.
There are many sayings, often passed down through chainmail, that tell us friends are the most important things to have, because though love will fade away friendship is forever. But it's not. The only thing I can think of, that truely lasts forever is memories. Sure everyone is forgetful, but honestly, when you think, you judge, even when you are simply sitting there, it is all based off of whatever event in your past triggered it.
Like, for instance, last halloween. I dressed up as "Some one else" because that is the whold point of halloween, but instead of picking some random character from a show, or being a vampire, I dressed up as a regular human being, just one different then myself. I wore a long brown wig, with bangs, and actually bothered with makeup, i used eyeshadow and all the regulars, but also put some extra shading under my cheekbones to make my regulary round face seem thinner. My 'hair' was held back by two glittery clips, and I wore a miniskirt that I had barrowed from a friend, that allong with 3 inch heels made me look like a very different person. Not only that, but a very ditzy person.
At school that day (everyone was wearing their costumes to school) I was talking to my friend (who was dressed as robin hood) who had to do a double take when first seeing me, but said she could recognise my voice anywhere. I was talking to her, when my other friend, who was dressed up as the phantom of the opera walked over, glaring at me the whole time. She pulled 'robin hood' away slightly and started talking to her, and then I said 'hi' and she practically fell over in shock. Later this friend told me that upon first sight, she had instantly had the thought "I dont know who she is, but that girl looks like a bitch, why would Tamara be talking to a popular girl?"
Okay, moving back over to the point. She had, by simply looking at me, decided that I was horrible and not to be trusted, even though in reality we are very close friends. Now, this reaction was obviously tirggered by the memories of some bitchy popular girls dressing in a fasion similar to that. Of course there are many better examples of how memories affect life.

Anyway, that was very long and still rant like, and my over all point was completely lost. What I was trying to say was; remember things, and when looking back in memory, dont think "I wish that hadnt happened" or "I'm so sad that this will never happen again" forget about how they relate to now, and think back on anything and remember the emotions you felt, and let them course through you, whenever I get sad and miss my friends, I think back, like to that halloween, and even while typing down that story, I remembered with a smile just how much fun I had had that day.

6:26pm: Bleh
It is currently around dinner time, and mom just ordered the food, which means it will be here any time between ten minutes and an hour. So in other words, I'm hngry and there is currently no food.
School will be starting up in like 4 days, which is annoying because I really just want to spend some quality time with my computer. Oh well. School should be fun, I guess. There will definately be no lack of French, seeing as it is a french speaking school... too bad I'm really bad at talking French.

12:25am: Tired but Content
Dana got in safely and called me, it was nice, we talked for a while catching up and stuff. Its now almost 12:30 but hey it was nice talking to her again. I'm gonna turn in and get some rest. Tomarrow will probably be spent cleaning my bedroom and doing my laundry... fun. (that last word was filled with a lot of sarcasm)Well I'm really happy Dana's here and I'm about ready to pass out, so its off to bed for me.

10:11pm: Insert sugar here
I'm definately having one of those 'insert sugar here" kind of moments, I'm pretty tired, considaring I went to sleep around two am yesterday. But I want to stay up so Dana can call me, thus the creation of a sugar craving. I really hate cravings, ones for chocolate or chinese, or for pretty much anything, I mean you just want it so much, weather or not you actually want it. It's quite annoying. And dana said she'd get in at 5-6 pm, it is now 10:14, of course I'm 3 hours later due to time zone difference. Thats another thing that bugs me, time zone diffrences, sure its fun to say "I'm three hours in your futur!" but still, I have to wait three extra hours for most of my friends to get home from school, and I cant call anyone until 2 pm because they're all probably still asleep! Sorry, I suppose I'm just in the mood to rant, even though little good comes from ranting, it makes me feel better. Well I think I'm off to rant to whomever is on yim, I'll post again later, hopefully by then this mood will have worn off.

9:26pm: Dana
Wow I'm really excited, my best friend is coming back from Czech today.. I get to talk to her, I havent done that in like two-three months. I've spent all day surfing the web, and two hours on the phone. I've actually gotten really impatent by now, I hope her plane isn't delayed.... Oh whatever. I'll update later, some time when I'm less jumpy.

8:51pm: Canada
I'm back in Canada, and have a serous case of jet-lag from an overnight plane flight. It's nice to be back but it's weird having everything and everone in french. I supose that last sentance used ather horrid grammar, oh well. Well nothing else to say.

7:31pm: The two CA's
Canada and California. I happen to convieniently live in both. I've been staying with my dad and brother for the past month, in California, and am about to go back to the not-so-great weather of east coast Canada, I'm going to miss my family over here, but on the bright side I get to go back to 'ye olde frenche speakinge partse'. So there you have it, I'm leaving tomarrow on an overnight flight and am planning to sleep for most of it, I actually have enough room to breath thanks to my father who got me first class tickets as a birthday present. Well I'm off to go do something with my family or watch tv or something.